Flowers in my garden
I can’t see for rain
so difficult, so difficult,
giving up your pain.
Words are all gone
yet I stare at their wraith.
So difficult so difficult,
giving up your faith.
God is now not worshiped
idol rolled down the slope
So difficult, so difficult,
Giving up your hope.
Distance now being measured
by the length of time
so difficult, so difficult,
with the life to rhyme.
Because I wanted her to go.
Wanted her to go being hurt.
For hurting her I plotted the show
Just alike a smart director would do.
She came, as used to come as friend.
But either God or Devil played in my mind.
I wished her to go and not to come back again
For I knew, a new life I was about to begin.
I knew she would come to stay this time.
She would come to gift me my heart back.
She knew I longed so long for it so cared
She came to heal but returned her eyes blurred.
She came unaware of the fact going wrong.
She didn’t know when I got changed.
She came with her smile as she would come.
Not aware that I decided her to dump.
As friend she came to meet me but you see
I received her as honorable guest.
so courteous I never used to be.
As perfect host I served her food and tea.
Before going she tried to find me in me
hiding behind the mask, not seen.
Behaving like a stranger to a friend
very well could I enact till the end.
Her smiling face had gloomed before she went
I knew I could make it get her trapped
in thoughts that would not let her feel
Back to see what made me make such deal.
Not having my heart returned to me.
Knowing but it lost its worth be born,
somewhere she might have thrown it away.
Since then Heartless I’m happy going in my way.
My sleep was a pretension
and before that, saying ‘Goodnight, ‘
was a wish for leaving me alone.
Now that they were all gone I felt
comfort and peace in utter loneliness.
Free from lights and free from din
I dipped into the deep darkness
soft, silky and comfortable
I swam in my memoirs and thoughts
deep in my heart and obscure mind.
‘This place’s very cozy, so nice! ‘
I said to him, Myself.
‘Yes, Let’s discuss’ he said
‘No, we should wait for ‘She’ to come
I uttered. ‘Go to hell, ‘ he replied.
Myself didn’t like She anymore,
I knew and I didn’t like him much.
But Myself loved me and I loved ‘She’.
Disgustfully he glared at me,
anxious I, awaited She to come.
Waited long and She came at last
along with her also came Herself.
She looked unhappy, disturbed,
also embarrassed, but Herself looked sad.
She wished Myself and I wished Herself.
It was not a pleasant meet for me
I tried but could not convince She.
but She could convince Myself very well
Herself I saw was hiding pain and tears
She went saying ‘Forget me, please dear’
She deserted me, my heart, wretched
a gloomy Herself only followed her
and glaring at me Myself did utter,
‘Look, She has killed yourself in her,
you must kill Herself in you, or die.’
Deceived and denounced in love, defeated in war
the soul, the nation, are derided, unheeded and forlorn.
The scream, agony, pain, disgrace and the tear
of them, the victims, the tools, secluded are borne
by them unheard.
Secretly they bleed, they fear to plead the truth
they bear, they suffer, they scorn
They know everything isn’t fair, in love and war.’